Everyone is a comedian! One of the best things about the internet is that you can always find something to laugh at. Here is a collection of 5 terribly funny amazon reviews, enjoy 🙂 Click check it out at the end of this post to read more.

 

rolex1. ^Review of the Rolex Day-Date Automatic Champagne Roman Dial President Men’s Watch which sells for around $27,000.

“I thought this seemed like a lot for a watch, but I really wanted it. I took a second job at McDonalds to pay for it. Not only was I able to save the money in only 12 short years, but they made me a shift manager as well. Sweet! Now I wear my watch to work at McDonalds every day. The gold in the band even matches the tooth I bought with my raise. And the watch repels the grease from the fryer much better than my $10 WalMart watch. It works better if I wear a sweat band under the watch band. I wish it had regular numbers instead of the Roman numerals. I don’t speak Roman. That’s why I gave it a 4 instead of a 5. Maybe if I work here another 12 years, I can get one with regular numbers. Everybody should get one.”

tank2. ^Review of JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank

“I am an acquisitions officer for an artillery unit in the Russian Army. Since mafia hooligans stole all of our equipment to sell to Kyrgyzstani rebels, we have been looking for a low-cost alternative to the T-80 Main Battle Tank. After successful trials at a facility in Moscow, this so-called “Badonkadonk” was approved for use in the Chechen theatre. Initial reports were favorable, but then somebody noticed that the tank lacked a cannon, treads, and armor, and possessed the engine of an electric bicycle. It did, however, have an excellent audio system, but this failed to compensate for its disappointing 100% mortality rate.”

5 Terribly Funny Amazon Reviews3. ^Review of Banana Slicer

“What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn’t already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone…. this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day’s banana slices. It’s one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old “I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?” and of course, “You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!” These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That’s when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we’ve even incorporated it into our lovemaking. THANKS 571B BANANA SLICER!”

horse4. ^Review of Horse Head mask.

“It is day 87 and the horses have accepted me as one of their own. I have grown to understand and respect their gentle ways.”

5. ^ Review of How To Avoid Huge Ships.

“When on my jet ski in the Chesapeake bay this summer I was confronted by a huge ship moving up the channel. You can imagine my horror when I realized I had only 1 hour and 45 minutes or so before the lumbering behemoth was sure to pass through my area. With no place to hide and only a water jet propelled small craft beneath me for transport, I quickly withdrew my Kindle Fire from the storage compartment beneath my seat and preceded to read the book How To Avoid Huge Ships. One hour later and with only 45 minutes to spare, I implemented the expert advice provided by the author and turned my jet ski in the opposite direction of the huge ship to avoid certain disaster.”

 

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